You, yes, you are being watched.

So much too say but how do I put it into words where you will understand the depth and meaning....

People are watching us.
We are called to be real, true, genuine, bonified Christians. -Jeff Deyo

During chapel, I had a sense that the Lord had something special for me that day. I have not gone to chapel this semester nearly as much as I usually have in my past semesters attending NCU. I take advantage of my 30 skips I receive from being a Junior in College.

To start out Jeff Deyo's sermon, he began to ask a series of questions:
                      DANGER ZONE
How many of you have a goal in life to be fake?
How many of you are set out to know the Bible from front to back but not have a true relationship with Christ?
How many of you don't want to practice what you preach?
How many of you will do whatever it takes to be luke warm?
How many of you want to get married, have kids, and then leave your family for someone else?
How many of you want to be pretty on the outside and empty on the inside?
How many of you want to be a Pharisee?
How many of you want to grow old as a complainer?
How many of you want to honor God with your lips but your heart is far from Him?

NOBODY WANTS TO BE THESE STATISTICS.

As Christians, we are called to be utterly authentic, dead to self, alive in Christ followers of Him.

The question is, is are you willing?

how do we stay authentic? When the business, sickness, stresses of life, tiredness A.K.A the fiery darts of the enemy are being thrown at us daily.
                                          
                                          TESTING INSTEAD OF TRUSTING
Psalm 78 the people tested God and the Lord provided them with manna and meat till they were full.
Though the Lord remained true to them, verse 36 says, "Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth, and they lied to Him with their Tongue; 37 says, For their heart was not steadfast with Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant."
What does this chapter mean to you? Sounds like our world today doesn't it? We test God for this thing and that thing, Lord if I could just get this job or this car or this or that. Whatever it may be that we want we test the Lord instead of trust Him.
I have been going through a lot lately in terms of finances. My car was recently broken into this last saturday. I was called by NCU security at 11:15pm when I had to wake up early the next morning for work, and was told that my window was shattered and radio faceplate taken.
First of all, they did not take anything, just did $1,200 worth of damage to my car. My first reaction to this whole situation was instant anger, panic, sadness, and helplessness. That is exactly how satan wanted me to feel. That next morning, I thought about what happened the night before... how someone could do something like that.... and I began to pray for that person. I felt very sorry for them, that they felt the need to go and vandalize and break in to something that was not their own. God really laid that person on my heart. I still to this day pray for them.

As for the financial part in my case, the Lord is sooooo good! I origionally was going to have to pay $500 dollars. Just because that was in my policy with my insurance.  The insurance adjuster had just gotten finished with figuring the estimate on what it would cost to fix my car and the grand total came to almost $1,200 dollars. Might I add, this is not including the $257 I payed for my window to be fixed. My eyes got huge as I heard him repeat the number to me over the phone. He then said, that I did not have to pay any more than what I already payed for my window. WHAT?! Don't ask me how or why because only the Lord knows. But, how amazing is that? Not even a half an hour before I got the news I had talked to Justin (My fiancé) on the phone and he told me to give it all to God. He said, "Erica... it is just stuff... we are not supposed to love the things of this earth..." and so after I had gotten off the phone with him I gave it all to the Lord and said ok God! This is too big for me to handle and so i'm giving this fully to you. You are in control. and boy did the Lord show me! :) (I also just recieved a call from the insurance adjuster today and he said that the estimate had gone down so my deductable might have gone down as well!)
My point is, is that we stress about the littlest things. Things that we should not be concerned with. These things are put into our lives to distract us from what really matters in this world.

Life is not supposed to be easy...

An analogy that Jeff Deyo gave in his sermon is so crucial I just have to share it with you.

                                      DIG THE WELL
Set out time alone with just you and God. You are placed in a well,  then given a shovel, so start digging.
Relationships take work. Sometimes it even feels like work. Justin and I are engaged. You think we just saw eachother randomly one day and said, "Hey?! God told me you are the one lets get married!" No. lol. We have battled and fought for eachother, encouraged eachother, made mistakes, made memories, learned lessons, prayed, stuck together and most of all.. grown.. grown in each other and in the Lord. We are continually growing into who God wants us to be, as individuals and as a couple.
So, as I was saying, We need to make time for the Lord and when we are given a shovel we need to take time to dig and dig and dig and keep digging. There is always going to be more.

Digging could be compared to praying, weeping, singing, writing, praising, reading the word, or perhaps just listening in silence. You are digging. You are working on your relationship with the Father.

When we do this, something happens inside of us, all of the sudden.. we strike water (Holy Spirit) as we keep digging more water comes forth and our well begins to fill up. When our well begins to fill up it could mean: physical response, tears, connection, sinks into our hearts, or thinking Yes, God you are real this is not just a song its real for me when I sing it. It is something that births within you. All of the sudden, your shovel gets taken away and you are given a pitcher. The pitcher is for us to drink and also offer to others as well. You offer what you have dug up for others. You could even throw it out...

Matthew 23:25,26 says, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and sih, that the ouside of them may be clean also."

Verse 26 is the key, we must wash the inside and then the outside will become clean. Jeff stressed in his sermon how so often we spend so much time washing the "candy coated shell" we do it in reverse. Why? Because it is what people see. But God is saying, if you clean the inside, I will clean the outside.
Now, I can't dig your well for you... and you can't dig it for someone else... You have to seek the Lord for yourself. Clean the inside of your "cup." When we do this, our appearance will change. We try so hard and spend so much time on the outside we miss what is true and real and geniune about Christianity.

Are you willing?.... some say well, I'll do it tomorrow.. I don't have time today I have a meeting or I have to work or I have to study or I dont feel good.. the list goes on and on! When are we going to realize that all of these things are tools that we allow the enemy to use against us. and the crazy, sick part of it is, IS THAT IT ACTUALLY WORKS. I am a walking testimony of that. So let's put an end to the fakeness. The "candy coated shell" that is so glamorous on the outside.. yet, so empty on the inside.
People are watching us.... I want people to look at me and think... what is so different about her.. that difference is the Lord shining through my life. The only way He can do that, is if I dig deep, and cleanse the inside so He can shine through me.

1 John 3:18,19  "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence."

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ... even if we run away His love will never fail.
 Jeff Deyo's little boy asked him how you can tell what God's voice sounds like. Jeff responded with, "Read the Bible. The Bible helps us to get accustomed to the way the Lord speaks. It also helps us get accustomed to how the devil speaks."
1 John 4
¹ Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. ² This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, ³ but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
 ⁴ You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ⁵ They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. ⁶ We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit^[a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.

God’s Love and Ours

 ⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  ¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
   God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. ¹⁷ This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
 ¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

Unveil

Today was a great day. :)

Very rainy, windy, and cold. Crystal and I didn't go to bowling today, but I did go to Choral practice! :) of course. I couldn't skip that. We have a concert this Thursday, and is being performed for the endowment. We are hoping to raise a million dollars for the fine arts department here at NCU. That money will go towards funding our trips abroad (Italy next spring! :)) sound and music equipment ect. The music is very challenging but is full of passion, and it is all for the Lord. God has already blessed North Central with people donating 275 thousand and possibly another 100 thousand. Almost half way there! Miraculous things truly happen when we are dedicated to the Lord in prayer.

I went to chapel today, thinking it was just going to be another day. Worship for 25 minutes and then a speaker for the rest of the time then lunch! I sat in the fourth row to the front in the balcony, by myself, I may add :) and all of the sudden Jeff Deyo walks up to the front and explains that this chapel day was not going to be a normal chapel day. In fact, thats how we should be in our walk with God right? It should always be different, new and refreshing. Each level the Lord takes us up in our relationship with him is never the same. So I thought that was cool how Jeff put it that way. But he started to talk about the service and how we are just going to enter in to the Lord's presence and to not look at the people around us. Complete focus on God and praising Him. Deyo also explained the significance of raising hands in worship. Very cool! He showed how during the verse its just swaying side to side then the chorus BAM! raise your hands! lol. sooo funny because I have noticed that a lot in the church. He said we sometimes just do it out of habit or the normal thing, thats just what pentecostal's do. But he said that raising our hands is a symbol of exposing our love for the Lord. Expressing our longing for His presence in the place we are in.

As Jeff and the band started to play I instantly felt warm.... all over. It just hit me. I knew it was the Lord's divine Spirit moving within me. Jeff deyo began to sing the words, "let us not forget your goodness... let us not forget... oh help us God... let us not forget...." and I begin to think now. How many of us have forgotten? I know, at times, I have forgotten the Lord's goodness. In times where I just was so angry, bitter, frustrated, sad, depressed, scared or negative, I forgot the Lord's goodness. He is good. All the time. Trials and tribulations come... but they only come because something amazing is about to happen afterwards. It is during those hard times that our true selves show. Those times were not meant for torture, they were meant for building character, strengthening hearts, purifying our minds, learning how to gain wisdom and understanding. But we don't always see it that way do we.

The next song Jeff began to sing, "You are good and Your love endures forever." Wow. How amazing is it to think that the Father's love endures FOREVER. Not only think that but you have to know and believe it in your heart. How many times do we forget about the Lord's love? My first blog I brought up the footprints in the sand and how the Lord carries us through the storms of life and is with us every step of the way. His love is so powerful and so moving. We love, because HE first... loved us.

The third song he sang was, "The enemy has been defeated and death couldn't hold You down, we're gana lift our voice in victory we're gana make your praises loud, shout unto God with a voice of triumph, shout unto God with a voice of praise, we lift Your name up." Awesome song! Everytime I sing this song I always picture us punching satan in the face with the Lord's grace saying, "yeah that's right, we are on the winning side and we have already won." It is true you know. We have already won. So we need to praise the Lord like never before! We need to lift His name up, like my fiancé said, get out of our little boxes we place ourselves in called "safety zones" we are not in Kansas any more people this is the King of all Kings we are serving here! Everybody needs to know His story and His love and His goodness and His faithfulness and His grace and mercy.

Jeff's song called, "unveil." Wow. That is all I can say about that. Such an amazing, powerful song. look it up on Youtube. Jeff Deyo "Unveil" buy it on itunes. sooooo gooood! wow! the chorus is "unveil my eyes so I can see your glory, unveil my eyes so I can know You're here, You're here." The verses are just so passionate and so from God. I love it when the Lord brings a song into my heart and I seem to get the melody, chords, and words all in 15 to 20 minutes. That is impossible for me to do on my own. I am just another servant of the Lord and by His grace He chose me to sing a song through. How amazing is that? Every talent that we have He gave to us for a reason and a purpose. Every one has a calling on their life whether they want to believe it or not it is there. It is our jobs to submit to the call. Whatever our dreams are, His dreams are bigger and better. Surrender everything to Him, and I can guarantee you will not be dissapointed.

The last song he sang is "bless the Lord." Also, a very powerful song. so great. I video taped some clips so I am going to have my fiancé, Justin help me put them on here for you to see. So amazing! Today, I died to myself. I am allowing Christ to shine through me. It is an amazing feeling. Knowing everything is in His hands, not having to worry or wonder. I just know everything is going to be great because He is fully in control.

Waiting....

Today I worked from 9:40a.m. to 5:10p.m. at the great Coldstone Creamery. Can life get any greater than this?
This Thursday through Sunday is our fall break, and instead of going home, I decided to pick up a few extra hours.  Crystal is staying with Danny at the pastor's house for fall break, so i've been holding down the fort here at the apartment. It is amazing what your mind will think about when you are all alone for a full 4 days! Well, it has only been three so far. the Lord has really been challenging me this semester. I have not seen my fiancé for almost 2 months now. It has been extremely difficult. I realize that throughout my relationship with the most amazing person in this entire world, I have become to dependent on him, rather than being dependent on God.
The Lord is teaching me that throughout this time I need to learn that I cannot rely on my fiancé to make me happy. Yes, we have amazing moments and fun times but true joy can only be found in the Lord and He needs to be the center of everything. The Lord needs to be our everything. It is so hard to keep priorities straight in a world full of distractions. It is easy to take our eyes off the goal of what really matters in life. That is our relationship with God. There is so much more to life... if we would only realize what amazing things the Lord could do in us, if we just gave Him complete control of our lives, instead of trying to do it all on our own. I wrote a song this semester called, "I run to you." Everytime I sing it, I can barely get through the words, they are completely from the Lord and so precious and full of passion and fire and truth. 
My professor here at North Central University, Dr. Watson, would tell me every class period, "People will fail you, but God is always faithful." That statement is so true. I think if people would take hold of that quote, then we would not be so distracted and disturbed by what others do around us. As long as we are in check with the Lord's will and remain firm in what is right, the Lord's love is enough.
The title of this blog is called "Waiting." I chose that word because that is what I feel like I am doing, waiting to graduate, waiting to get married, waiting for the next step, waiting for a word from God, waiting waiting waiting. Well, as John Waller puts it, "While i'm waiting, I will serve you." I feel as though lately, I have been waiting with an attitude of, "this is taking forever!!!!" Instead of filling up this precious time I have to communicate with the Lord on a deeper level. I have always told myself I never want to be comfortable with my relationship with the Lord. I will never outgrow God, I am always going to need more of Him to get me to where He wants me to be. Where is that? sitting by His side at the throne.
This road that we Christians are on, is the most challenging, difficult, most rewarding road that the Lord could have allowed us to follow. I feel as though we take advantage of God's unfailing love and grace. His divine faithfulness and mercy. You know He will never leave us? I love the story about the footprints in the sand. How the person who was walking on a beach with the Lord and there were 2 sets of footprints and all of the sudden when trouble and chaos surrounded this person's life there were only one set of footprints. This person cried out to God and kept asking why the Lord could have left them during the hardest most challenging storms in his life. The Lord said, "My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in the sand.... it was then that I carried you." That is just like us isn't it? Crying out to God, begging, pleading, screaming and asking how could He leave us, how could He just walk away in our greatest time of need. What we need to realize is that if we would just sit and listen... We would begin to feel his Holy Spirit moving within us. He is ready and willing to speak. It is us who walk away from Him, it is us who don't make time for Him, it is us who crucified Him on the cross. Every lie, every unclean thought, every time we deceived or misled, we were pounding in those nails..... we are the reason that He had to die so that we might live a life full and rich with His Holy Spirit living within us, speaking words of affirmation and peace, receiving extraordinary gifts that were promised to us, having the joy of the Lord as our strength, and we sit here and complain about God not being there for us??? doesn't make any sense to me.... I feel as though we allow satan to blind us from the big picture. We are so molded into the ways of this world we don't have "time" to see what God really meant when He gave us another chance.
My favorite verse is Romans 2:12, "Do not  conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will." To me, this verse says it all. We were born to stand out. In order to stand out we need to allow the Lord to be in every area of our lives so that He may transform us into becoming more and more like Him. We will be able to TEST and APPROVE what God's WILL is for OUR LIVES! His GOOD, PLEASING, and PERFECT will. Isn't that what every one wants? To be called to something great, beyond our own dreams? The truth is.... we all are called to something greater. It's just.... what are we willing to do.... to sacrifice.... to change..... to submit..... to let go....

The Lord has given us free will.... its precious. I dont know about you, but at the end of my life, I don't want to be thinking ... oh i wish i would of told this person... i wish i would have done this ... i wish i would of done that....

When I go home to be with my loving heavenly Father I want Him to look me in the eyes and say, "Well done my good and faithful servant... you have made me proud.. I love you so much. Thank-you for choosing the life I created you for. Thank-you for standing up for Me and making me your everything."

What would The Lord say to each of us... right now at this very moment... if we were to die....

Would you do anything differently?